T. About a year ago, my husband was having an affair with someone we both know. That happened when I was pregnant. He said that would never happen again, but I’m not so sure. He was in and out of our social circle.

I want to try to solve the problem, but every time I think about it, it makes me sick. The sad thing is that we’ve been married less than three years. Maybe he was not ready for marriage. How do we work through our problems and have a happy marriage? Now, it seems impossible.
P. R.

A. First, let me say that I am sorry this happened to you. It is hard to overcome the lingering feeling stronger after an affair. However, if you think it’s impossible to have a happy relationship now, that’s what will happen. However, if you throw an impossible attitude and embrace a determination, have a happy marriage can happen.

You may be right. It is possible (perhaps likely) that your husband did not fully understand what you will need a marriage before entering into it, but now you both have responsibilities, and that includes raising your child.