6. Seeing the signs of cheating spouse often mean secrets. Secret works! Not much written about the impact of the secrets in a relationship, but believe me, in more than two decades working with strained relationships day after day, keeping a secret has a strong influence. This is saying the elephant sitting in the room that no one dared to talk about. People take extraordinary measures to tip toe around it, but it IS there. Emotionally, you can not miss it. Secret gutter. If you keep a secret, its impact felt in subtle ways, but dangerous. People become physically ill, sometimes seriously so. People become depressed. People start doing crazy things. The children began acting out, stop achieving, become listless or show some other symptoms. The children, or the next generation, often carry the emotional burden. You want to spy because you do not want to live with secrets. You want to find the truth. You want to feel the liberating power of an open secret and offer opportunities for healing, resolution, rich relationships and a productive life.

7. Some of us like drama. Soap opera scenarios and adrenaline based lives are characteristic of our society. We get juiced or pumped into emotional relational triangles that offer intrigue. Without adrenaline, life seems boring or mundane. Perhaps an unspoken reason for an affair may be to fan the flames? Or, you can spy on your cheating spouse to keep the meaning of life becomes part of your life.