* Put your spouse and children first
No one will send you to the divorce court faster than in-law drama. I know you want everyone to get along, but understand that you are not responsible for the mother, father or brother of happiness. Your primary responsibility is to keep your home. If parents and your siblings can not be with this program, be prepared to take leave of them until they have learned to appreciate you and your partner. If something in them forbade them to do, remain loyal to the people who really important and you need to. If you really want a successful marriage, sometimes you have to learn to love from afar.

* Do not ever disrespect your home
You already know you hated the husband / wife, so that will stop them and talk behind her back when you two fight. One, it only makes your family hates your partner even more and two, your marriage is on the wrong track if you pour salt on the other important people. In addition, your home still has no home with the wrong people come and go. This is bad for any relationship, married or not. Keep the drama queen / king out of the house, they were just looking to start trouble.

* Marry someone you are friends with.
States to spend the rest of your life with someone who really likes you as a person, not just as sexual partners. Sometimes, sex will be there for a short period of time (pregnancy, disease). If you and better half to resemble each other and love each other, which was built on a foundation of friendship will be more than enough to get you through those rough patches. Also, be friendly with your spouse make marriage so much fun!

* Do not put your spouse on the pedestal
Everyone makes mistakes, so leave room for many of them. If you’re looking for the perfect mate and your marriage may be living in a fantasy world. Simple rules that apply in our promises, but we all act a bit and swear sometimes people become the most difficult thing in the world to stick. This can be estimated, so try to not come down too hard on the other half for not holy at all times and you’ll both be fine.

* Leave the past in the past
Oh dear, you’re still complaining about all the bad things that happened three years ago. Get over it. No one wants to hear remixes of how much jackass once again, especially if you all agree to work and it would be great. If you can not stop him every five minutes, maybe it’s time to seek counseling. If not, concentrate on things that are good and pushing forward.

Ahhh, jumping the broom. This is not for everyone, but it’s manageable if you have the right information. I actually caught by a few situations I encounter in almost eleven years of marriage sacred and if you’re not ready, you will be running at full speed back into single life. Fortunately, my husband and I loved each other enough to pull our family together and live happily ever after.

You say you want to be happy forever, too? Well, I submit to you a list of valuable lessons I have learned over the years. Of course, I can not really promise eternal love, but some of these tips will save you from unnecessary suffering, guaranteed.

Be crowned the king / queen of two BEFORE you commit
In other words, it’s much easier to play on the field while you are single, not married and decide you want to see a whole lot of other people. It seems like this would be easy to find out, right? Well, apparently not. Some people do not realize the mess they created big way until late and they can not return from it. Can you say: benefits, monthly child-support payments and a second job to help you? Not to mention the various sexually transmitted diseases, some fatal.

10. Dig into the ground. Emotional investment relationships, their nature, bring trials, tribulations, fears, chaos, chaos, change, stretching and growth. They become the grist of your life shaped and formed. Be fearless when faced with turmoil, upset, crisis, questions, and fears. When the time is right, seek them out. Move toward a frightening unknown. Digging your relationship and uncover the treasure. Do you really TRUST that this can happen? The purpose of your relationship is not to make you happy. Do you realize this? Happiness may be an outcome, but your other is given to you to move you to where you really want. Obstacles, trials and pain moments are given as a lesson that you intentionally write the script of your life individually and together. Embracing difficult. Believe that in this embracing you will find more of your true self. Believe that you are given the resources and capacity to deal with what you and your spouse is the other face. Once you can trust and believe in this goal, trust your significant other will be much easier.

9. Charge Neutral. Another important when you reveal something strong, neutral charge. Most of us are afraid of strong feelings or point of conflict in a relationship. I often hear people respond by defending themselves (to a perceived attack), explaining themselves, counter-attack, kill, or walk away. Of course, the relationship remains stuck in this swamp of distrust and fear. Rather than reacting and having your feelings flowing all over the place, or lethal, practice charging neutral. Communicate calmness, not only in the tone of your voice, but also in how you carry your body. Do not talk with your voice charges. Control your voice! Say what you have to say, state the truth and do it directly and calmly. You can do this, after you master your fears. This will dramatically change the flow of relationships. You will be able to show something big, without making a big deal of it. You will control you. This not only feels good, but your partner believe that you will fly or fall apart. You will experience your personal power. This makes you very attractive. People do not really trust someone who knows their personal power and how to use it for the welfare of yourself and others? Your partner will love the fact that he can trust you consistently to operate from the “quiet center,” remain engaged, not back and tell the truth with confidence and serenity.

8. Learn to say NO! Sometimes you need to say NO! Often times it is important to say NO! Say NO to set limits around you that protects you from being hurt or wander into the territories that will damage your heart and soul. You draw the line. You stop tolerating that which drains energy and makes you less than YOU. You refuse to allow the destructive behaviors of others to destroy you. You build a moat around the core of your life. You do this by telling others about what they do. You ask them to stop. If they do not stop, you need to get them to stop. If they do not stop you walk away without comment cynical, eye-roll or comment. To some this seems harsh, but saying NO respect. Fear is a basic distrust. If you are afraid that someone will hurt you and believe you have no recourse but to endure the hurt, fear will prevail. How can you trust when you are in fear? Say NO, protecting yourself, send a message to others that you are not going to live in fear. This usually triggers a response of respect from others. After all, if you can protect yourself and refuse subjugation to a destructive, not someone else will come to trust you and see you as a person who is only able to protect himself or of danger, too?

7. State who YOU are - loudly. Very sad to see people in relationships of emotional investment hold back from letting people know who they are. You build trust in a relationship by entrusting your SELF to others. This sounds easy but I find it hard for most to pull off. Most of us have a difficult time expressed our SELF. For one thing, if you’re like most of us, you are not a lot to think about what really makes YOU YOU. Do not you feel like you’re gliding through life on autopilot, focusing on tasks, goals, achievements, problems and external reality? Do you tend to focus on things out there or people out there? You worry about what he was thinking, how he responded to you, whether he likes you, whether he will be obstacles and where he will fit in your life? Your conversation may be fun but quite shallow and blunt, bored silly. You talk about things / relationships / events out there. You are reluctant to share thoughts, values, and impressions or take a position. This does not damage the trust. But that does not make it good. And, if you take the position may meet your goals or entrenching protect you when you react against someone. This is more often than not creates trust barriers. Take time to reflect on your standards. What is your standard for a relationship? What standards you hold for yourself? What do you order your life? What are the values of 4 in your life? What are the themes of your life? What are you famous? Then … start letting important people in your life know. They will respect you. They will know that you are more inside. They will be grateful for the opportunity to know you. They will see you as an individual character. They’ll trust you. They can count on you. They knew exactly what was in the back and inside you.

6. Let YOUR needs in mind - loudly. Be a little - no, a lot - self-absorbed. (Be selfish, but not selfish!) Here’s the problem I see almost every day. He is back (maybe tied to work, others, etc.). He felt the trust and intimacy eroding, is scared and wants to “win again.” So he started the all efforts to “work on the marriage.” She invited him to do the same thing. He may be reluctant to agree. He explosion in front of full throttle trying to “fun” and meet every need he ever said that he was. He will “fill the tank with good food.” Does not work. His eyes were fixed on him. He felt “weak” or perhaps even angry: “Why is she doing this NOW!” He hoped, but eventually that turned into hatred. Motives that underlie it - if I meet his needs, he will feel comfortable and meet with me - just do not work. This is considered as a manipulation, that is. Of course, he did not say anything. After all, how do you get angry with someone who was so “nice and caring?” Trust destroyed under a blanket cool manners. Start with your eyes focused on YOU. What do YOU need? Explore your personal need system. Digging below the surface. And then said to him: “I need … x, y and z. I want to talk to you about them. I want us to work out a way so my needs are met. Are you open to it?” He is the power to say yes or no. Or, he might say, “What about my needs?” You replied, “I am very interested to hear what is important to you, of course.” Have you ever been around someone who stated clearly what they need / want? You do not respect that person? Because you know where he stood, and therefore where you stood, did not that interaction move toward a relationship of trust?

5. Very very careful of keeping secrets. If he knew there was an elephant in the room and not talk about it, the elephant took a very large space in the relationship. It takes energy for him to walk around. He may not see the elephant, but knew he bent his neck to look at something. He will be a curious, somewhat disturbed, have feelings but no words to wrap around them, probably wondering if there is something wrong with her or struggle with trusting your intuition (her intuition KNOWS an elephant is there.) And, when we can not trust the message that comes from within ourselves, we feel very difficult to trust the messages of others. Secret demand extraordinary energy and erode trust. This relationship has experienced intimacy banging the wall. This is why extramarital affairs are damaging. He did not so much concerned about him having sex with another person when he is about betrayal, lack of trust, secrecy and deception are crazy making and energy draining. Now, please. I am not saying that you sit your partner down and divulge the secrets of the past 23 your illegal behavior. If you have resolved those, i.e. forgiven yourself, understand those Behaviors, learned from them and were able to use them to make the internal Shifts necessary for your personal development, they do not Qualify as an elephant. Hopefully, the way to grow the intimacy in your relationship you might want to share some of those events when you reveal to your partner where you are and where you are now. You do it without emotion. However, if the secret of taking the room, which still has an emotional charge and holds back from expressing themselves in the stages of growth of intimacy, you have a problem that needs to be addressed with your partner.

4. Believe other people are competent. I hear this phrase very often: “But, I do not want to hurt her.” Some things at play here. First, he may not have the skills to face with the truth in a way that brings reconciliation and understanding. He believes the truth to say are destructive or require a kind of drama. Not true. Truth is never destructive and can be conveyed in loving ways. (With that said, what we believe to be true probably is a distorted perception of our personal needs.) Or, he could see other people as a coward, someone who he believes can not handle rigorous personal confrontation. He does not believe that someone else has the internal strength or stamina or skills to be in a relationship of mutual respect and equality. Other people take this distrust and do what he did (do not pretend to be able and inability) to avoid personal confrontation as well. A dance act out. Believe and know in your heart that someone else, somewhere and somehow, under the game, have the power and the internal capacity to handle anything. Build trust as trust in others and begin to absorb the relationship. “Hey, he thinks I can handle this! Hmmmm, well this is great! I CAN take and really intimate!”